Inspiration

*tweeted by @AshleySpivey

35 seems pretty old

Ugh. I have a birthday coming up. A mid life one...the big 3 5.....even though I still like to think I don't look a day older then 30!! I don't, right?! 

viaAnyways, I'm not really enjoying the whole build up to the birthday, thing. Remember when we were 17 & 35 seemed pretty old. I was sure, like surrrre that I would have my shiznat figured out. But I don't, like not at all, maybe...I mean, yes I have the family I always dreamed of....a house & neighborhood that I like....but, I still think about what I want to be when I grow up. I'm not enjoying the feeling of, I'm too old to do anything about it. I mean yes, I could go back to school, but there is NO CHANCE in HELL that I would want a student loan again, I mean I just finished paying off my student loan from 15 years ago....and if we payed for it, it would make our life alot more money tight then it is now & I don't really feel its fair to do that to the rest of my family.

And then there is where I live. It's a big  kind of a bone of contention in my marriage actually. I don't want to live in this city anymore. I'm not a city girl, like I thought I was. At least not this big of a city. I want to move home. Back to my little Island & raise my boys there.  I think about it all the time way too often. What it would be like to have my parents close by...to be able to get to know my gorgeous niece...to have a support network at my fingertips. To live somewhere, where traffic is laughable, I mean there is no traffic. It doesn't take 2 damn hours to do a small errand. I want to move back. But...it's not that simple. My husband has a really good job here...he can not imagine what it would be like to move that far east. He's not really willing...So, here is where we stay. Sucky.

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I don't know. The whole birthday thing has gotten me thinking about who I want to be for the next 35+ years. I mean, I know who I have been & I am working on accepting that person. And now I feel I have this opportunity as a mother, as a women, to be some one different. I have a idea now of life & I since having kids I sure don't take it for granted. I feel different then the person I was 10 years ago....so different. I mean, talk about maturing in the last ten years, I did that. Now, it's time for me to shine...I just feel it:)

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We are all excited about Halloween tomorrow!! I wish it was today though, since it is so beautiful outside, but it will fun regardless of the weather. Z is being a ninga & wy is a purple but he thinks he is barney{you know, that purlple singing dinosaur} so we are going with that!! I love my kids!!

Can you really ever come back...

too the blogging world?? Well, I am going to try friends. Wow. It's been a looooooong time. Lots has happened some good, some not so good, you know real life stuff. I can't really explain why I haven't been around or maybe i can. It started with a comment I got, about a comment I made during a commenting challenge & I felt so terrible & so completely misunderstood, that I decided to take a bloggy break....a couple weeks, I thought. I was still reading blogs like crazy though, just not writing. Then, the not so good stuff i will get into all of that, i promise in my life started to happen and everyone else seemed to be living this wonderful amazing life, & I started to feel.....jealous. So, I do what I do & I quit writing. A mistake. I should have been writing, it's probably when I needed to be most. Regret. But I can change it all up now & start writing again, about the good, the bad, the ugly, I'm going to write about it all! This is what I have decided to do with my lil corner here!! If anyone still reads, thank you from the bottom of my heart! I have missed you all, even though I know you only from the words you write, I still feel very connected to some of you & I CANNOT wait to go visit your blogs & see what you have been up too!! I maybe a little gunshy on making comments, but I want to let you know that I am back & I have missed you!! Now a few pics of my boys to catch ya up....

wy, growing growing & growing

z caught his 1st fish this summer

there they are Z & Wy

High on life

I'm linking up with Heather @ Some Kind of Wonderful & Christina @ My silly life today because I think they are the sweetest{& I still totally owe Heather some earrings. They are coming Heather, I promise. Just need Canada Post to go off strike...} & I have some news....happy news...and my happy news fits perfectly, beeeeecause this news just makes me 

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Our whole family is excited. We just found out that we are going to be auntie & uncle{again} & that the boys will have a new cousin come next January. Yay!! At Z's last soccer game my sis n law & niece, Bri, came to watch. 

I have 12 shots of them, all like this....

They were there for about 5 minutes when I got sight of Bri's shirt. It said "this lil monkey is going to be a big sister" I think I squealed & screamed congratulations & that's when everyone else was like "wha? what's going on" and I just pointed to little Bri's shirt!! We are all thrilled to have a little baby in our lives again...what a gift! My sis n law though, is having a rough go of it. She was extremly sick the first go around...& she says it's worse this time. So please send your good karma her way:) Enjoy your Thursday!!

2nd Annual Commenting Challenge

I am soooo excited to be linking up with Jenna @ Jenna's Journey for her 2nd Annual Commenting Challenge. I spotted this challenge from Kat @ Living Like the kings & I am so grateful, cuz it's exactly what I have been needing, yo. 

If you are here from the challenge..... Welcome to my lil Corner & thanks for stopping in. I like to vent here from time to time, but mostly I enjoy writing about & posting pictures of my 2 sweets Z & Wy

  

From time to time I will mention this guy

  

 sometimes I will talk about how challenging & rediculously fun I find our life on a day to day bases, like seriously

  

So enjoy, & feel free to dig around, friends!! I can't wait to go around & read  your blogs!! See you soon!! XO

Monday after...

such a great weekend

Hated to see it end. But here we are....Monday. At least we have the memories to get us thru the week*sigh*. Dude, are the weekends just not that much better in the summer?! Seriously, this family is lovin life right now. Hope you all had a fab looooooong weekend:)

Happy 4th to all you beautiful americans

Monday Moo

1.) How Long have you been blogging and How Long do you stay on the computer per day? I dipped my toes in bloggy world last October...I had originally called my blog faith or fear but soon realized that I wanted to change how I was blogging & what I was blogging about, so in January I re-named it Mommy's lil Corner & it has been a huge part of my life ever since. 
I don't get very long, if any time at all...sometimes I have choose sleep over  computer time, & thanks okay by me:)

2.) Do you schedule your posts and/or keep a bunch of posts in drafts? ( I talk about this in our upcoming e-course.) Oooohhh how I would love to be that organized. Never. No

3.) Do you make money off your blog? If so, tell us how {via sponsors, monetizing}-Share your success. If not, tell us if you'd like to and what you need from us to help you. {We discuss sponsorship in our e-course as well}. Not a penny:)

flob

couple deeeeep thoughts

I have written before about my sheltered childhood. It has come to haunt yet again, like a lil sheltered ghost in my marriage. Now, not to say things aren't good with D & I, because they are, most of the time. It's just....marriage is not what i expected. It's not easy. Shit.  I don't know if I expected it to be easy....it's more that i didn't know what to expect. My parents are married...celebrated their 35th this year... are they happy? good question. They have had their issues, even though they tried desperately to hide them...i know, they had their issues. But they didn't share any of that with me. They made it seem so easy. You meet someone. You start a family. They take care of you. I never took into account that during the marriage, we are still two seperate people, growing, changing, whatever...a marriage is still 2 seperate people...trying to live together, be each others support while still trying figure your own self out....if that isn't tricky enough, throw in The boys. We are parents first & we have very few issues there. We parent well together. I feel extremely blessed to have him as my sons father. I would honestly not trade him in for another parent. ever. When it comes to parenting, he is my rock.

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Have you ever had someone tell you that you need to let, the expectation of what you wanted a person to be, go? I have. Once when I opened up to someone about my mother & they very kindly & very gently told me that I need to let the idea of what i thought my mother should be, or even who i thought she could be, go & begin to accpect her for her. Ocd & all. I got goosebumps when she told me this. I knew she was right. I started working on it in that moment. Of letting go. It has been a proccess  is still in progess...and will always be, a little bit, anyways. I'm still working on the hurt I feel, & grieving opportunities that I missed out on, when I had no control over it. But. It's much much better. And because of it. I am a happier person......I'm realizing I need to do the same with D. Letting go the husband i thought he should be, or the husband i feel could be, & just start accepting him as the husband he is. Because I do love him. As is.

 Last night D, the boys & I went to a bbq @ a new friends place. Her, the kids & I have hung out a few times, but last night was the first night we hung out as families. It was lovely. We all had a delicious, fun time. At one point all the boys {her 3 & my  2} were on the trampoline. The daddy's were outside watching & Shan & I were on her patio having a couple glass of wine. When I noticed that D was letting our boys wrestle on the trampoline which is a huge no no for me. It always ends in disaster. I yelled at him to make them stop & he just waved me off. I looked at Shan & rolled my eyes a nasty habit of mine since I was 2,supposedly & I said something along the lines of when is he going to learn that the situation is going to end in a disaster.

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 She smiled & agreed with me but never said anything. Later & another glass of wine we started talking marriage. I telling her that we just celebrated our 3rd anniversary & i made kinda snarky remark about us getting to 9 years {which her & her husband are celebrating in a couple of weeks}. She told me that one thing she learned within the first five years of her marriage with P, her hubs, was that  he is his own person. And she wouldn't challenge that. I asked her what she meant & she said...well, like when D was watching the boys on the trampoline. You don't like that they wrestle, probably because it makes you feel a little out of control with the situation{BAM}. But it doesn't make D feel out of control...he's cool with it. Moral of the story when you are watching them you don't let them wrestle, when D is watching them he decides what the boundaries our. Interesting right. She defiantly gave me something to think about. And honestly, I really respect her for saying that too me. I didn't feel like she was judging me at all, just offering some wifey advice. Mucho respect for me knew friend. Can't wait for more wine bbq's. What are your thoughts on Shan said? Agree? Not so much?? Curious:)

let's get freaky...

 Cuz it's Friiiiiday!!! I have been wanting to link up with Lauren at the little things we do for awhile now. So I am so excited to link up today!! My very first 

The last movie I saw was  This is odd, but it was  Hendricks Motorsport Story. I loved it, but it so doesn't reprsent my movie tastes at all. So, the movie before that one, that i watched, was Black Swan. Wild. I liked it, but i can't say i loved it...too many unanswered questions for this chickee.

2.  I want to  party like its 1999.... or just have a drink with the hubs tonight by the fire!

3.  Surprises are  the best form of my anxiety! I love em, but I need to figure them out first! Lol!! But me love  giving surprises!

4.  The best accessory is a wicked bag & killer earrings!

5.  My favorite warm drink is  my first cup of coffee. Every morning

6.  My favorite cold drink is   pepsi. Bad i know...

7.  Currently loving  This article i just finsished reading about the amazing people in Vancouver that came together to clean up that awesome city.  Ugh. That riot  is a disgrace & does not represent the people of Vancouver or Canadian hockey fans, at all. I kinda wish that game, just never happened.... Opps, i'm suppose to talk about what i love...the ariticle, I do love!! Also loving that it's FRIDAY!!!!!!

Hugs & Love

Hey

Friends!!  I'm back from my lil bloggy vacay. Sorry 'bout that. But I am back feeling inspired & refreshed, so that's a good thing, no? Life has been busy, as it is for everyone, I know. It's funny though, it's the good kind of busy. Everything is just sweeter in the summer. Although the weather has been kinda sheety it still stays light out until almost 11, & I looooove that!!


I have a post coming about the new bachelorette, surprise surprise. But it's not so much about the show but about women in general. And even more excitingly{does that sound right?} I have a post that includes some fab new blogs that I have been obsessed  super enjoying!! 


I just wanted to touch base with you gorgeous people to say thank you for sticking with me {and even gaining a couple new followers!! Amazing!! and I'm heading to your blogs this weekend...can't wait!!} while I have been having a bit of the bloggy blues.  I have some new ideas for my blog that I am putting in place in the very near future....I'm going to be doing some more vlogs & getting back into the swing of things at FTLOB, & lot more personal posts, so get ready to get to know me alot better!! Hope ya can handle it!


Let's catch up...


It's official. I'm a soccer mom & I love it!! I have secretly wanted to be a soccer mom for years but would always join in on making fun of the  cheesiest lamness of being a soccer mom{that's right, cheese & lame...that's bad}. 

I'm loving it!! There is just something thrilling about cheering on your child! Plus, bedtime is never easier then after soccer...score for mommy & daddy!

Maybe even more excitingly{!!} Z had his kindergarten orientation last week! How crazy is that?!  And get this, I got a lil teary eyed. I'm in serious trouble for the first day of kindergarten. Serious trouble, friends. What can I say, I just can't believe it...and I can't help feeling it's kinda the beginning of the end. Dark I know. But I have a couple of months to work on it!!

We went on a lil family vacation to Canmore....a little mountain town about an hour away from the city. It's beautiful. Actually, it's where D & I got married. We had a fantastic time & are feeling really excited about our boys being old enough to do some mountain exploring this summer. With having a maritimer mommy & a prairie boy daddy, needless to say, we will be learning the mountains for the first time together. Exciting!!

yup! Z was at our wedding:)

Well, I have to say....it feels good to be back!! I can't wait to get around to all of your blogs & catch up! I'm doing some serious cleaning in google reader, as I have just realized that I'm not getting update feeds & missing out on some great posts, and well, I HATE that!!

Hugs & Love

 

Hey friends

blogging slump anyone?? I have resorted back to my ole bloggy ways of just being a blog reader. Nothing else. I have been in such a writing funk, that I haven't even been leaving comments.sorry. But dude, I have been reading some new ahhhhhmazing blogs. You know the feeling when you start to read a new blog for the first time & you just don't wanna stop? I love me, that feeling. Perhaps tomorrow's post will include a little diddy about some new great reads...


I have been struggling with what I want with this blog to be. When I first started blogging I called this blog faith or fear & I was trying to write some posts on the not so wonderful stories of my wonderful life. I wanted to be open & real with people. I have always been the kind of person who hides her truths and I wanted this blog to be my truth. Now, I had no clue how to blog or even what blogging really meant. I didn't know about blog hops or that a community like FTLOB even existed. I was just gonna write & if someone wanted to read that would be amazing, but if not then I was still gonna write. I got myself an entracard & i'm pretty sure at the beginning the only  people reading my blog where people who hit it up thru entracard{are any of you still here?:)}. Then I posted a comment on Frecks blog, she came & visited my blog & introduced me to a whole new world of writing & connecting with people. I started to focus more on the Mommy stories of my life, changed my blog name, & made some real connections with people. Within the connecting with people, I kinda lost my courage to write my not so wonderful stories & found myself writing posts that I thought other people may enjoy, & not necessarily what I wanted to be writing. Is this making sense? Anyways, the point I am trying to make here is that I am going to go back to what I originally wanted this blog to be...while still keeping it the way it is. I am going to start to include more posts like this one while still writing about my everyday mommy adventures. Sound good?


Just a huge thank you to my readers. You guys are amazing for sticking with me:) You all have given me the  confidence I have always lacked. I'm so grateful for all of you & am honestly inspired by the creativity you all have. Happy Thursday, beautiful friends. xo


ps...got my playlist back.yay!

remember survivor?

Boston Rob won it peeps. HELL YA.  He is in fact the ultimate survivor. I knew it alllll along. From the very first moment him & AmBer made their very first pact. I was rooting for him in that finale too, but he did one better & proposed to the chick who was just minutes away from pocketing his million. Brillant. I was happy that AmBer won. She played smart. But not as smart as Rob...yeah, he should have won it then. But hey, he married the chick, & went on to a great many things. I know I didn't lose much sleep worry about Boston Robby.


This season was nothing to write home about... le snooze.... They tried to change it up a bit with Redemption Island but the only way that would have been exciting is if Matty came back & won the whole damn thing. But he didn't. So Redemption Island was kinda  waste of space, if ya ask me. Of course, there was the Russel sob-story emlimination, but I think he's a tool so the way his role played out this season, just made me laugh. Such a tool. It was pretty clear that Rob had the whole thing won when he won the final immunity challenge. I mean, if he didn't win this time around, then this show would only be proving that it's shit. I don't know about you, but it gets kinda sickening after a while to watch people ride other people's coattails & win a million dollers!! Or to have some weird following that keeps voting you thru week & after week when there is clearly other people better then you {that's right Scotty, I talking bout you}. I mean who is this following. Tell me. please.


I still can't believe that the show gets 3 hours for finale night. Really? Once we found out that the bostonattor was the ultimate survivor the show was done. The only mildly exciting thing to happen was when Probst practically asked AmBer to leave because the kiddos were a little loud. Niiiiice. There was a chat with Russel which he lamely went back on his word to "never play the game again". Tool. Other then the feeling of being justified with all my hours of survivor watching with knowing that the best player in the game finally won, I was left with that empty hollow feeling of what next. I mean, the show is done, right? They can't go on without Rob. Wouldn't you love to have been a fly on the wall when AmBer confronted Rob about the 20year olds calling him superman. That's funny stuff. I can grantee you she was not happy. That stuff goes right to their heads:)

Today I am Joining in with  gypsy mama for

She says.... Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s write in shades of real and brave and unscripted. Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not. Today's prompt is

When seasons change

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I stood staring at my closet. Winter coats. There's at least 20 of them. What will I do with them? Where will they go? It's funny as I look at them I think of all the cold winter months that they tried to keep us warm. Did they do their job? Not really, but it would have made -40 degree weather, much much worse. No, the coats stay here. They will not be coming with us. I will find the number for the sally anne & let them know that we have winter coats....they can have all our winter coats. Then I notice the 10 pairs of rubber boots, rain jackets, & umbrella's. What about them, stay or go? Okay, they may not have winter but surely they have spring, right? Rain? I think of all the puddles my boys have jumped in, how they search them out...okay right...the boots & rain jackets they are coming with us. Then I notice the pile of summer clothes on the bed. It's a small pile...and I notice only 2 bathing suits, I'm going to have to hit up the mall for more. They told me to pack a minimum of 7 bath suits, one for each day of the week. I'm in trouble there. There is one box clothes already packed. They hold our beloved sweaters, sweat pants, and more sweaters{I call sweaters with a hood, a hoodie}. As I look at them I can hear my hubby's voice saying "if you buy one more hoodie...i mean how many hoodies can one person own?" Alot. Is the answer. I love my hoodies. Doesn't matter the season, a hoodie always works.
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Hope you all enjoy the looooooong weekend. We actually have plans & will be roadtripping to the mountains for the weekend. So excited. Hope you all have some fun plans. Hugs & love

Weirdo

Maybe you don't know this. Maybe you do. But I'm kinda a weird one. Like when, I use to ride transit, which was everyday for 5 years, I had this crazy urge...the kind where you need to have a lil conversation in your head telling yourself not to to this. What would it prove anyways...besides making you look like a crazy person. Oh yeah, my urge was to stand up & just start screaming. What would people do?? Would they run...would they be scared....would they laugh. The not knowing just made me want to do it that much more....told ya, I'm a weird one. 

My newest urge is air punching. Everytime someone says something I don't like I punch the air. Not really an urge I guess, seeing as I am actually doing it. But, it's driving my laid back hubby crazy. He's a non fan of the air punch....I think it's more the look on my face when I am doing it...I mean what is there about a scrunched up, F-U face to not like, but whatevs...I think the other day when I air punched because a woman butted in front of me at Superstore, crossed the line for him. He said that someone noticed & laughed. This horrified him, & I loved it. Weird, right?

OH BUT, my hubby & I are polar opposites. POLAR.OPPOSITES. It's true. I'm the wound up, social butterfly one, & he is the cool as a cucumber let me just blend into the wall, one. For us, that works. There is no way I could be with someone like me. It would be a bad scene for sure. Every time D & I agree on something, or we see something the same way, we high-five each other, cause seriously it rarely happens. We just see the world differently. I remember in our vows to each other he said that I have helped him to see the world in grey instead of just in black & white...I thought that was the biggest compliment ever. I said something about how he grounds me & he called me out on it later...he said that there is no grounding to me I'm just a free spirit & he likes it that way. See, it works. 

green roses

This morning was perfect. Nice, quiet & involved lots of coffee. The boys were out "getting a couple of things". I was reflecting(not really, I was reading blogs) when Z rang the door bell. I ran to the door & he was holding flowers..." Happy Mothers day" they screamed. I was beaming. The boys were beaming. D was laughing. I looked at him, questioning the laughter. He gave me his head hod that told me I would soon find out the joke. Once I peeled back the flower paper I saw them. 12 perfect green roses. Green Roses!?! Yup. I guess there were this pretty pink roses, that D wanted to get, by Z insisted that I have the green ones "those are the ones she wants Dad, trust me".  I hugged my boys & told them that I loved them. Told them the flowers were perfect. I went into the kitchen to grab a vase & water. Z followed me...."mommy. those roses are not really green.. in the inside they are yellow. just like you". Wow...tears now. I looked over at them & he was right. They were a beautiful yellow in the inside. My sons. I am so lucky.

Hope all you beautiful bloggy mommies had a wonderful day!xo

Come and....

check it out! Whatdoyathink of my new{bloggy} look?? I am in, freaking, love with it!! It's all thanks to the beautiful{& extremely talented} Vic from freckles & fudge. I tell ya, this girl has been there for me since day one of my adventures in blogging. She has offered me support, friendship, & now a new look. sigh. She nailed it too, it just feels so me in here now:)


I love how so many bloggers are talking about the big wedding tomorrow. I am surprised that I am not more into it. I usually eat this kinda stuff up {embarassingly enough I still do a daily google on Brad & Emily. I know...pathetic much}but this wedding if just not my cup o tea{that's right} although I am excited to see her dress. Oooh lala. 

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I remember getting up earlier & watching Princess Di's wedding...I thought she was the must beautiful women ever...a real living breathing princess...i bought the whole fairytale....yeah, I got that one wrong. I remember the day she died as well. We were out partying at a local club, when the dj announced her death. My roommate {&bff} was so pissed that he would say such a horrible lie. Later that night, at friend's house{I can feel ya smirking from here, Kel}turned on the tv & found out she was in fact gone. Sad. 


On another note...



Did anyone watch Rob Lowe on Oprah today?? {Can I just say that Oprah is busting out the guests latelyI find myself tivoing way to many episodes} He was adorable. I was intrested to hear what he was going to say about the Brat pack, & about the outsiders movie.... I'm pretty sure Sodapop was more first real deal crush. Such a sweet bad boy  

yum

Off to watch grey's...Have ya noticed that Vic also made me a couple of buttons...my first ever buttons...& i would love it if you were to grab one!xo

a side of mouse

This morning @ 6:30  the lil guy that I looked after was getting dropped off, his mom informed me that we a dead mouse on our driveway. Freakin dead mouse, people. Ugh. It was awkward, considering last time she dropped off her son, we had 2 dead birds on our driveway. Seriously.


My neighbors have cats & they let them wander freely outside. They are nice cats...my kids are always happy when they see them. Ya see, what the boys don't know is...these sweet kitty's piss & shit all over our back yard & kill mice & birds & leave the whole mess for me to clean up~i'm not their kitty momma~didn't they get the memo, i'm not a fan of dead things. I don't do well with them at all, actually...and if you were to keep reading the memo it would state on there somewhere that I, in fact, am not a cat lover.*gasp* I know...it's true. Not a fan. For a long time I had no idea why I didn't like the lil buggers...being an animal lover & all...something about them just makes me feel uncomfortable....

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Then a few years ago, when the whole fam was in T.O for a wedding, we were staying at my uncle's house...they have a cat. A grumpy, mean cat. I was on edge the whole visit. It's like I thought the cat was going to attack me in my sleep or something...anyways, after confessing my true feelings about cats, my dad said something about him not be surprised...what?!? could there be an explanation?! Yes, yes, there is...turns out when I was about 3 or 4 my dad would take me when he went to visit an old{er}friend of his who had a cat & I adored it. One visit, I was petting the nice kitty when it bite me...right thru the fingernail...dad said I went  nutto & after that I would never go back in the house with him. I don't have any memory of this, but it makes sense, no?! Whatever. I'm not a cat fan & here I am cleaning up after cats that aren't even mine. Frown.
 not meant to offend any cat lovers/owners:)

cupcakes & stitches

I was thinking of you all today, hoping that you were all enjoying your easter! 

Yummy! They are lemon!

notice the one in the back made by the 2 yearold

To say things didn't go as planned would be an understatment....instead of going to celebrate easter with an egg hunt & eat a yummy turkey dinner on Saturday night{with D's family}, we were at the children's hospital with Wy.... he slipped in the tub & split his chin wide freakin open.... it was not a pretty site, friends. This momma didn't handle it too well, letmetellya. I freaked. The tub water looked as though jaws attacked...there was crying from everyone...a quick call to auntie to pick up big brother{so that he, at least, could go enjoy the easter fun} and we were off to the hospital for our first.ever. stitches...I felt so terrible for my baby, & they really could have been stitching me up...I had never had stitches before{other then surgery related} & since becoming a mommy to 2 boys, I have been dreading the day. I was just hoping it wasn't going to happen on a holiday or to my 2 yearold. He was so brave... my lil man...we had to spend 6 hours at the hospital & he got 3 stitches. I took pictures...so that someday I can show him how he got that scar on his chin & tell him how absolutely brave he was 

on the car ride to the hospital, ice pack in hand

with the patch on, that will numb his chin

3 stitches. Done & finished

finally at home in Elmo jammies & a bottle
of h20

out. it was a rough day

Yeah so, not exactly at all what I had planned...but what canyado, you can plan & plan but then shit life happens & ya just gotta go with it. I'm just so thankful that it was just a couple of stitches & not something worse. I tell ya though, I didn't sleep that good last night. Lots of mommy guilt{I insisted he take a bath} & this morning after our fun easter actitives my hubby pulled me aside{as he was dealing with some dadda guilt...he was in the bathroom at the time of said slipping} & he showed me this video. It  helped put things in perceptive for me & made me very grateful for my hubs. Very grateful. The message was exactly what I needed.

We had a great day today though. We had our good friends over for brunch & a big egg hunt in the backyard. The weather was perfect. The boys both feel asleep happy tonight so that is all that really matter to this momma:) xo

easter pics to come tomorrow...it is taking for.eva to upload pics tonight

                     

Random Sunday Ramblings

For me to have my blogging time today, D has hooked up this old school crap computer in a corner in the basement. I wasn't really sure if it was going to work out, but he is upstairs with the boys washing the walls, so ya know, girl can't complain. If I was to be anywhere on the 2 main floors, the kids would not leave me alone, so here I am in the basement. Literally, Mommy's lil Corner!  There are no pics on this computer so this is going to be a word only post, *gasp* .

I know Canadians are lamely known for talking about the weather. I hate that{and we really do talk about the weather alot}...I just feel we have many more interesting things to talk about...BUT, can I just saying that this snow F^@king sucks!! Now granted, on Thursday we all new that we were going to get snow. But they lied to us. They freaking lied to us. They told us that it would be gone the very next day. I think originally it was suppose to be +10 or something today. But no. There's snow. It actually hasn't stopped snowing since Thursday night. Can I get a huge BOO?! Especially from all you beautiful people living in the sun...yeah, thanks.

Many of you don't know this, but I have my own private dance club. I do, really. It's called my car. That's right I am one of those, dance while driving kinda girls. I rock out. I use to try & hide it, but not no more, I let it go, baby. I love all types of music. All types. I feel that they all have their place, ya know....and for dance music, that place is my car. I have always loved driving with the windows down pumpin out some Will Smith or 50cent...I'm mean it all just goes together, no? But man, do I get some weird looks sometimes. I even once saw the driver behind me point  me out to his passenger, probably saying something like check out the crazy chick rockin out...but seriously, it was Madonna. I will not apologize.

I'm not sure if it has something to do with getting older{yuck, did I just say that}but hearing certain songs can really bring me back in time. The other day VOGUE came on the radio & I was transferred{seriously}back in time to grade 8. There was a variety show where two flaky blonde girls performed a step routine to that song. It was as if I was back there watching it. Seriously. I haven't thought of those girls{or a step routine}in a hundred million years. I have heard that song so many times over the years & not once did it take me back to that memory. Weird. I mean, who wants to go back to grade 8....it's one way to make yourself feel pretty old{and I know, a step class routine, I guess my school kinda lacked on talent}...

My BFF & I were texting the other day & started chatting about old boyfriends(for lack of a better term}. For some reason or another my worst{ugh} boyfriend came up. I said something about what a waste of time he turned out to be, & she so smartly pointed out to me, that he wasn't a waste at all... he served his purpose. He took me out west. That's right, I left my beautiful lil Island for a no good boy...sigh.... BUT I was meant to leave the Island. To come out west. To meet my hubs. To have my kids. If I never would have left the Island, I would never have meet D. Ever. And I wouldn't have my Z & my Wy. So, worst boyfriend ever,  looks like I owe ya thanks instead of hate. Awww, peace.

Thinking of that boyfriend makes me want to hug all 20 year old girls everywhere. We had this very wild crazy relationship, that I think only 20 yearolds can have. I didn't think straight the whole time I was with him. I was just so caught up in his bad boy looks, & how he made me feeeeeel. Gag. I have a 19 year old cousin,  I see so much of ME in HER{poor girl}. The last time we went out, she filled me in on her latest drama. A wild & crazy break up. Very bad. Full of drama & tons of tears. I felt so bad for her, cuz I lived that kinda stuff too, & I know how it can make you feel, on the inside. I wish that I could have been more blunt with her about this relationship & what I really thought of it. But I held back. Cuz again, I remember being her. And I remember that I didn't necessarily want advice, I just wanted to know that I wasn't alone & that I wasn't a total screw up. So, that is what I tried to give her. Lots of hugs...lots of I've been there, done that...and lots of it's not you girl, it's him...and of course I closed it with the ever cliche....trust me, you will find your someone. Trust me, trust me, trust me.

Okay, I think that is a wrap for today. Although due to that the fact that I have to go shovel my driveway I'm not in a great hurry to get off the computer. Do you feel sorry for me yet?? OH but wait, it's not so bad, at least I have clean walls!! Hugs & love

During my 20's...

I worked at a camp. I loooooved it. One of the greatest times in my, before babies, life. I was a never a camp kid, myself. My mother would have been much to controlling for her daughter to go somewhere where they did not shower every night. Kinda joking, but kinda serious too. The camp I worked at was on a Island all of it's own.
   
 It was beautiful, perfect place that still shows up in my dreams every now & again. We were a staff of 32 & we ran that damn Island & boy did we rock it. We were a family. We lived together for 4 months out of the year. We had no tv, no cell phones. It was just us & this beautiful island & the outdoors{&too much coffee & intense games of trival pursit, & rounds of who would you rather, oooh I could go on & on}. Seriously, it rocked.

     




That job was a major stepping stone in my life. The people I met, the insight it gave me to what is important & not important{like, it's okay to not shave your legs for a week or to take a group of teenagers out on an overnight canoe trip & forget the drinking water, we figured it out}. I loved that job & loved the people I worked/lived with too. It was one of the first times in my life where I truly felt like I fit in, ya know. Unfortunately not many of those people are in my life anymore...nothing more then pathetic facebook friends now. Crazy, really. I had honestly figured these people would be in my life for ever. But not the way it turned out. They were a very close  group of people, many  who grew up together. I dated one of them for 4 years. During our breakup, he got custody of our group of friends & I cut ties{in no way did anyone make me do this, it's just what ended up happening}. Brutal. Cuz I needed them & I know if I would have told them that they would have been there for me. But at the time I was ripping a guy' s heart out & I thought it was the least I could give him...our friends. So I backed off. Regret, baby.
  
BUT I do not regret my camp experience at all. In fact I  am more than thankful for all the fantastic memories I have from that time in my life. For four months out of the year,  I got to canoe, sail, swim, & a hundred other things, all with an amazing group of friends & {almost always}an amazing group of kids...I worked with the seniors, the teenagers. OOOH my, was it fun at times. But looking back, what I remember most is laughing with them. I mean, nobody has laughattacks like teenage girls, & even though I was bitchin grumpin at them to get the hell to sleep they always had me laughing. They taught me alot those crazy girls.

I always think about camp this time of year. The staff will be heading out there in a month. I remember just wanting this last month of school to be over to get out there. I think because you were almost cut off from ordinary day to day living, you felt a certain sense of relief when you walked on the island. Everyone said that.... Staff. Campers. It's probably what kept everyone going back.

I wonder if my boys will be little campers.....