Thursday, December 16, 2010


I'm on a Christmas roller coaster. One minute I am happy/excited about the holiday, & literally, the next minute I just want it to be over. My hubby & I see Christmas differently & every year it presents us a problem. D sees Christmas as stressful. Over marketed. Bah humbug kinda holiday. I looooove Christmas. Especially with the boys. I remember my childhood as being....stressful. Christmas Day was one day that I actually remember enjoying. I work really hard to create the kind of Christmas that I dreamed about. Now, I said I remember Christmas Day as being enjoyable. Leading up to Christmas. Very stressful for my mother. Very stressful for all of us. So, the kind of Christmas I dreamed about was just a regular, ordinary Christmas. I bake with my boys. We all decorate the tree together. I let them attempt to wrap their own gifts. Whatever. D wants everything...smaller. Easier. Cheaper. I don't know. He's right in one aspect,'s Christmas. I just wish things weren't such a fight these days. Oh well. Onward & forward. Yesterday I wished I was still a university student. Looking forward to exams being over & having that month break. Man, what I would give to have a month's break. The constant "mommy" is like fingernails on the chalkboard, lately. I mean, I looooove me my babies, but momma needs a lil break. I'm not gonna get one, of course. Hopefully, I will be able to steal a few hours here & there over the holidays, but I certainly wont get a "break break". But I will get refueled. Christmas morning. Watching my boys. Feeling their happiness. Can't wait. My soul soooo needs it:)

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