hump day

I have had to, seriously, keep myself away from the computer in fear that I would write a whole post on the finale of the bachelor. Please. I have refrained, I think, so maybe I will just write a little blurb about it....no, no I wont do that to you.... Let's just say that I was pumped that Emily *won*, but sad that it looks like she didn't find happiness. Or maybe she did. Who knows with that crazy editing. Grrrr!!! Will I watch next season of the bachelorette? No, I wont. Or maybe I will. Who know's.....lol, me & my reality tv show love/hate relationship.

D has a birthday this week. Z can't wait to make the cake, he has bugged asked me everyday for the last 2 weeks. It has become a lil tradition for him & I to bake a cake for whoever's bday it is. He loves it, & so do I. I ran out last night to grab all our "supplies" & I seriously can't wait for him to wake up & show him all the goodies I found. It's funny to think that this is the same lil man that use to sit in his bouncy chair watching me bake & now he is the one cracking the eggs & measuring the milk. Wow. It's a lil scary for me how fast my kids are growing. So scary.

I had a pretty major melt down on Saturday. Me & my stupid anxiety. Got the best of me. It was a pretty big wakeup call that I really need to start focusing on some sort of balance for myself. sigh. Self care, baby...must start paying more attention to myself...there are days where I honestly could not tell you if I had a glass of water all day...sometimes I eat, sometimes I don't.... there have been some evening when I am sitting down for supper & I will ask myself 'did i pee today'??? Oh yeah, I did, once, in the morning....seriously, it can be that bad sometimes. My anxiety was much easier for me to deal with, before the boys. When I had time to breath & meditate & really concentrate on what  "my thoughts" were & what anxiety thoughts were. Like any major melt down I have had, I have picked up the pieces & it's onward & forward, baby! I'm a stubborn Irish girl, & I'm ashamed to admit that it takes something like Saturday to happen, before I am willing to take action. I'm a work in progress, friends....

On Sunday we celebrated Springing forward with a fire in the backyard. It was kinda makeshift but man, did it taste good. I had no idea how much the cold snap was bumming us out, until it was done. The nicer weather & later evenings have made my whole family HAPPY CAMPERS!!

So there it is peeps, some of the thoughts going on in my head these days. I'm thinking of doing another vlog(yay or nay?) in the near future. At first I was thinking of doing an "ask whatever question" but on the advice of one of my gf's  am thinking of doing a "hot topic" vlog. My thoughts about whatevs....i'm thinking that could be fun, but we'll have to see, I guess...
Love & hugs