Saturday, January 15, 2011

Boo

It hasn't been a fun week. Nothing really "bad" happened or anything, I just find life tough sometimes. The everyday "normal" stresses get to me. I wish I didn't struggle so much with finding my balance in this crazy wife/mommy world that I live. I get tired. Sometimes, I just need a break. It makes me feel weak...i should be able to handle my role better, like all those beautifully, perfect mommy's I see walking into the gym. I should be more like them.  I don't know, I love my boys. I would do anything for them, but sometimes I just feel walked all over.


I haven't had a true break since Z was born. The only nights I have been away from him was when I was giving birth to his lil bro. Other then that, I have not been away from him for the night. I need a girls weekend. Or a weekend totally alone. I just need time with me, because sometimes I feel like I get a lil lost in the everyday shuffle that is just everyday life. Sigh. Woo, is me, right?!


My blog is getting my down too. It's weird, actually. On the one hand, I'm super proud of my lil blog. I started with 0 followers (& have told no one except D) & now I have 32!! You have no idea happy that makes me... that's where it gets confusing...how can I be so proud of something & yet feel so frustrated at the same time? It's not about followers or profile hits or anything like that. For me, it's about connecting with people. I just wish more people felt a connection with me & with my blog. Perhaps I need to open up more or maybe I need to add more pictures or maybe I need more of a theme.. All I do know is that I have ALOT to learn & I kinda feel like a sponge, just wanting to soak it all in. I have to say, I felt better after reading one of my daily blogs,  when a girl met a boy. Alot of her words reflected exactly how I have been feeling lately. I was surprised she was feeling this way, considering her blog is wicked awesome. I also read & re read Vic's comment, to her post, & pretend she was writing it to me. I love her. And I love triple love her blog, Freckles & Fudge.

I sooooo  hoping to win the blog makeover from Lindsay at  Scenic Glory(awesome giveaway from FTLOB). I didn't win. Boo. Happy for who did though!! I just would loooooooove to have my blog, look the way I imagine it to. Every time I click on Lindsay's blog, I can feel it. If that makes sense. I just think her work is beautifully perfect & calming. I need more calm in my life.

On top of everything(literally the icing on the cake),  I have gained 10 pounds. Not a huge deal, but I feel gross. I have been working out all week. Zumba fitness. It's super fun, I love it. I actually thought I might have lost a pound or two(or magically all 10), but today when I was putting my jeans on, I still had my muffin top. Boo, Zumba. Boo.

Yuck. Sorry for the downer post. It's just one of those weeks, I guess. I was hoping for a relaxing weekend & so far, no luck. I wanted to vent everything out tonight and  leave all my negative thoughts here. Tomorrow, I will post something fun. Promise:)

6 comments:

b. lee said...

pour it all out, mama! I so appreciate ur flat out honesty in ur above post; truly endearing * sending a high-five & looking forward to checkin' out the rest of ur corner ... cheers from ur latest follower :)

ps. take a mommy hour today ~ ask the hubs to take over completely ... take a dive in a tub full of suds or curl up with a good read * it's an absolute necessity for me & can really do wonders ~ ~ ~

http://cleansheetsonsundays.blogspot.com/

Vic said...

dahhhling! First of all- I LOVE YOU! I truly do! Your someone I can see myself everyday with getting coffee and letting the kids play at the park! It's soooooo frustrating as moms because we are strapped to our kids and we have no time for ourselves...i keep reading everyones blogs but hate myself for not leaving comments when i leave their place because my kid needs her ass wiped or they're hungry....i tend to get pissed but as moms they are our main priority and our focus....blogging can be next...LOL....But I do love you and I'm following and reading and leaving comments when I can....and I want you to have a makeover so bad so enter the header giveaway and the blog giveaway today and i promise if you don't WIN ....I will personally spice this place up for you....by me! i don't have a perfect template or style but if you like what you see on FTLOB and Freckles and Fudge , i can do something similar for you because i do love you and want you to GROW! Don't get down dollface...I'm here to life you up...anything you need...style, spunk, layouts, pics,,,,you name it! i'm here for you babe...just an email away! xoxo

Vic

Kim said...

Oh girl I wish I could give you a hug & offer to watch those little munchkins for you. I am a little ahead of you on this journey. My kidos were little in my 20s & now at the end of my 30s I am seen the fruit of staying home & loving on my kids when I was TIRED of doing it.

You can do it and it will be worth it. My advice? I echo what Vic said--tell hubby what you are feeling & ask him what he can do. An hour, an afternoon, a whole day? If it doesn't work out call a friend, sister, mom, someone to hang out with the kids for you for a little while. Even a walk around the block would do you a world of good!

Keep posting and don't hold it all it. That is what I love about blogging. If you are real then it will touch people & you will connect.

Kim

TexaGermaNadian said...

Well hopefully your feature on FLTOB today will cheer you up a bit! I hate those blue-y days (weeks, months). Just stumbled over to your blog and I think its great. Maybe it's because I have a soft spot in my heart for all things Canadian (like my hubs). But really I am enjoying your writing :) Hope your Sunday treated you well.

http://texagermanadian.blogspot.com/

A Little of This and a Little of That said...

I'm your newest follower from The Sunday Strolling Blog Hop. Please stop by and follow back.
http://alittleoftheother.com

Ellie

Sherri said...

ladies,

U give wonderful advice!! Today, I enjoyed a 3 hour nap & am feeling fantastic!! Thank u for making my day with all your comments, I could feel the love !! Can not wait to go check out all your blogs:)